Lest ther be any confusion

My boss told me that the blog gave the impression that Iowa was a bad time. False: Iowa was a stupendously awesome time. But I was too busy having fun to post about it, except when I wasn't having fun. Which is when I posted.
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After a week of carnival food, I'm about ready to go vegan
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Everyone's freaking out about a huge horrible storm. They even shut down the Elvis impersonator.
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Fell asleep instantly anyway. Thos morning: more Amish pie, hippie coffee and a century.
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An air raid siren is going off. It's done that three times. A train is blaring its horn about 100 yards away. Train horns can be heard for miles, and this one is right here. It sounds like it's in my tent. It angers the screechy dog, who is barking. There is an 80s classic rock cover band blaring out "Better than You" through mega-venue speakers.
My legs are covered in mosquito bites. I will be "awakened" (haha, like I was sleeping) at 445am to go ride 100 miles.

The laundry is done, though.
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Hammered into town at 20+ mph and did my frackalacking laundry. Tired.
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Fuck

Fucking donkey reaming satanic load of radioactive stupid waste of time stalinist shit.

THAT'S how I feel about my shower + laundry situation.
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I keep trying desperately to take my time + not be first back to camp. Today I waited in every long line, stopped at every stop + I still ended up with a boatload of time to kill by myself. Yo, funk that.
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Would you believe that after a mere breakfast burrito, oversized pork chop, two cups of brewed coffee, a large latte and two energy drinks, 70 miles of biking over hills would upset my stomach?
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Museum of axe murder!
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Coffee

In a sea of shitty coffee, there was a little brown school bus filled with hippies serving up organic brew. When I got to them today, though, they had a sign that said the county wouldn't let them sell coffee from a bus. So rather than drive the bus 5 miles up the road, they encouraged people to steal what coffee they had and then planned to remain there for the rest of the day, "advocating for justice" in coffee serving privileges in Montgomery Co. Hippies.
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OK, the train whistles are less frequentr, but the awful + really loud cover band needs to STFU now kthxbye
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Meant to write a big update, but I was too busy having fun!In the eve, lot of math nerds + biologists on my charter, so we've been talking a lot of evolution and game theory. Also saw a profoundly bullshit drum show. Rock.
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When I finally got to "Mr Pork Chop," my stomach already hurt and so I just ate raspberry-peach pie instead.
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there's as much stuff to do in 10 mi of RAGBRAI as about two days of other cycling
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train whistles every 3-4 minutes all night: the new chinese water torture?
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Train whistles are the work of Satan
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Joslyn closes at 4! O, cruel fate
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Krispy kreme beats dunkin donuts...but what about tim horton?
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Here I am on vacation, but all I can think of are left eigenvectors and Nash equilibria
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Seriously just saw a woman standing around smoking in a tin foil hat
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There's something so stalinist about airport announcements
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Rocking out my differential equations at the airport. Martin Nowak is my new favorite person.
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Blogging from the Blackberry

Well, this isn't the sexy Blogger app I'd been hoping for. Nevertheless, it does liberate me from the sub-twitter character limit imposed by a long email address and SMS.

Tomorrow I pack up for RAGBRAI. It'll be about 70 mi / day through Iowa, just one huge bicycle party. My training consisted of an incapacitated spring season, followed by a crapton of centuries, followed by laziness. All the rain didn't help. But I was even less trained for Florida (which was not even SUPPOSED to be fun) and I was alright.

I plan to eat a pork chop for breakfast every fucking day. Sorry, Rabbi Blum.
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And then my frame pump

And then my frame pump falls apart. Classy. I found a one-armed cowboy action figure by the side of the road, though

Another fucking flat! And there's

Another fucking flat! And there's a hole in my tire. Turning around to abort.

14th out of 45 yesterday,

14th out of 45 yesterday, and apparently the staff had me pegged for top 3 overall if I hadn't flaked

The pleasure of blowing off

The pleasure of blowing off the 2nd century & getting a huge VT breakfast was almost worth the wasted cost of registration

Woke up stiff w/ a

Woke up stiff w/ a slow flat & didn't want to ride at all. Finding a big huge tref-ilicious breakfast after 10mi changed my tune

Stage 1 results: 101.5 @

Stage 1 results: 101.5 @ 5:57:00 moving (6:34:29 overall). Rank TBD

Lost the peleton @ mile

Lost the peleton @ mile 98 when I dropped my water bottle and couldn't muster a rally :-(

Oatmeal stout & an elkburger

Oatmeal stout & an elkburger smothered in onions counts as carbo-loading, right?

VICTORY! Pushed through everything to

VICTORY! Pushed through everything to cover final 64 mi. Averaged well over 20mph until last 5. Impossible be damned. Boston!

Got back on after some

Got back on after some advil @ 1st SAG. Blasted thru 29.5 mi @ 21.17mph. 90 min to go...stay on target...

If the pain doesn't subside,

If the pain doesn't subside, that will mean NS actually was slightly higher mileage (albeit in 33% more time)

Horrible, stabbing pain in right

Horrible, stabbing pain in right achilles tendon on every stroke. I guess that's it for me...

Just one more...

Just one more...

Damn...just found out that you're

Damn...just found out that you're supposed to time centuries incl. stopped time. That's a lot longer.

WOW! 5h 38m 0s century

WOW! 5h 38m 0s century (17.73mph)...no drafting! 115mi ttl. Weird car wreck resulted in some impromptu singletrack detours...

Not riding was harder for

Not riding was harder for me than riding. I can't wait to get back on the bike.

Kept my word: I'm off

Kept my word: I'm off bike, icing the knee, watchng the organizer's kid tap-dance

I'm feeling better & tempted

I'm feeling better & tempted to reverse myself, but the wiser part of me says it's just shame motivates that.

On the other hand, 5

On the other hand, 5 consecutive centuries is pretty awesome, and 7 in 8 days is also pretty awesome. OK, I'll sit out today.

Correction: I know I need

Correction: I know I need to sit it out today or risk ruining several weeks with an injury. I just hate not doing what I said.

Got up to go to

Got up to go to bathroom, and knee that hurt yesterday was painfully tight. Stretched & it got better. Mulling sitting out today.

I haven't seen a hotel

I haven't seen a hotel this vile since San Antonio.

Somehow managed to finish the

Somehow managed to finish the 5th century. 2 triathlete coaches gave me an intensive 2hr skills lesson today. Knee pain @ mi 80.